Who Am I?

Who Am I?

I am the youngest.

I am the surprise pregnancy.

The not quite expected baby.

Dad said I popped out with a pill in my hand. It took me a few years to understand what he had meant. Then when I did “get it.” I hated it. To me it meant I was unwanted.

My older brother had been planned. He was wanted. He was wished for, waited for, prayed for and dreamed of. Didn’t hurt that he was the perfect child either. Only thing weird about him was his desire to have purple shoes.

I was a surprise. I was cause for worry. Worry about money, space and time.

FUCK THAT!! You know who I am?! I am the kid who beat the odds. Despite having never been wanted or asked for. The super sperm wiggled its way into an egg that planted itself in my Mom’s womb despite hormones and pills. They mixed it up and made ME!

I came into this world on a scream and made a splash. I might not have been the perfect child but I sure was unforgettable.

I spent a lot of my life being shy and trying to disappear.

FUCK THAT!! I am so far from being anyone’s image of the perfect person and I don’t care.

I have insecurities and worries and I struggle to love my body. But I love who I am and how I am. I love with everything I have. I am loyal and honest. I can be quiet and moody, loud and crazy, reflective and shy. I love to talk but learn more by listening. My mind is open but that doesn’t mean I agree with everything I hear or see.

I am me.



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27 responses to “Who Am I?

  1. Sue

    I can attest to that!! πŸ˜€

  2. I love your attitude and your spark. Heck, I just all around love you. πŸ™‚

  3. Ah, this is great – How easily we hurt others with words.

  4. I’ve heard a lot of parents say that the surprise was the best one. Just because you weren’t planned doesn’t mean you weren’t wanted. If they really didn’t want you, they would have ended the pregnancy or put you up for adoption. Think about that.


  5. I was an “oops”, too. And according to my mother, the cause of her drinking.


  6. Great wrap up of you! Love it. It’s a really good thing to be not cookie cutter and to be happy with the package you live in as well as the gifts that live in the package. You are good enough! You are enough! And you are loved.

  7. Chuck/tyler

    I was the eldest – but I was also completely unplanned and probably a highly disruptive surprise to my fathers completely over organized life

  8. love this, looking forwarding to more….

  9. For years we called our littlest sister The Accident. Mom says she kept having babies until she got it right. All babies, planned or otherwise are a surprise. Nice to meet you Chickee.

  10. k~

    You’ve got spunk, that’s for sure. Listen, I don’t want to be rude and let you think I am ignoring you, but I do an awful lot of computer reading for work, and my eyes get tired. This red, is more than I can handle, so it’s not because I don’t want to, but because I cannot handle the white on red colouring here, that I will likely not be back.

    It was still nice to meet you. πŸ™‚

  11. Fabulous. Love this. πŸ™‚ You ARE special.

  12. Amy Morgan

    Really enjoyed your honest and spark here. I too, was a surprise (although for different reasons). I like how you’ve turned this around – you SHOULD feel good about yourself – congratulations!

  13. Love you, Chickee. And where has this blog been? (where have I been?) πŸ˜‰

    • HI Steven. =) I have been in the lala land of the unwriting. (Yes I meant unwriting.) You’ve been being quiet but I know you are there. I think of you lots and you are always one of the recipients of my good vibrations. ❀

  14. Nice to meet you Chickee. Your honesty is certainly refreshing.

  15. Taina

    You are you and I simply ADORE YOU. You make me laugh, get reflective, agree with you A LOT about your thoughts on life and how times are changing. You are fun, beautiful inside and out and anyone who is considered your friend…well they are blessed! I’m glad for that oops. If it hadn’t of happened, my world wouldn’t be as fun. Love you!

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