Who Am I?
I am the youngest.
I am the surprise pregnancy.
The not quite expected baby.
Dad said I popped out with a pill in my hand. It took me a few years to understand what he had meant. Then when I did “get it.” I hated it. To me it meant I was unwanted.
My older brother had been planned. He was wanted. He was wished for, waited for, prayed for and dreamed of. Didn’t hurt that he was the perfect child either. Only thing weird about him was his desire to have purple shoes.
I was a surprise. I was cause for worry. Worry about money, space and time.
FUCK THAT!! You know who I am?! I am the kid who beat the odds. Despite having never been wanted or asked for. The super sperm wiggled its way into an egg that planted itself in my Mom’s womb despite hormones and pills. They mixed it up and made ME!
I came into this world on a scream and made a splash. I might not have been the perfect child but I sure was unforgettable.
I spent a lot of my life being shy and trying to disappear.
FUCK THAT!! I am so far from being anyone’s image of the perfect person and I don’t care.
I have insecurities and worries and I struggle to love my body. But I love who I am and how I am. I love with everything I have. I am loyal and honest. I can be quiet and moody, loud and crazy, reflective and shy. I love to talk but learn more by listening. My mind is open but that doesn’t mean I agree with everything I hear or see.
I am me.