My First Love

Do you remember your first love?  The one to which all other loves would and will be measured?  I do.

He was tall and strong, with thick dark curly hair and a smile that could light up the heavens.  When it was directed at me I felt as if I was the most beautiful and precious person in the world.   My world revolved around him.  He was the center of my universe.  Gaining his approval was the sole purpose in most everything I did.  Seeing his eyes twinkle with laughter and pride made my heart swell.  Seeing those same eyes spark with disapproval could crush me completely.

I told my Mom I was going to marry him someday because I loved him.  She just smiled and gave me a hug. 

I remember watching him give his attention to another and feeling as if I could scream and cry.  But he always came back to me.  Always.

Even when I didn’t want his love.  When I was shoving him away and trying to assert my independence.  Even when his love felt as if it were smothering me and stifling the woman I was becoming.   He never turned his back on me and tried to keep me from making mistakes along the way.  He loved me no matter what.  And you know what, even though I wouldn’t admit it then, that tenacity made me feel even more loved and precious.

Maybe someday there will be another who can hold me and love me with as much strength as he did.  Someone who will see my flaws and love me anyway.  Someone who will always come back to me no matter what a snot I have been. 

Someone who will make me feel as if I am the most beautiful and precious woman alive.  Someone who will love me with a strength equal to that of my Dad.

Happy Father’s Day Daddy. 
I love you and miss you with all my heart.

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “My First Love

  1. Lisa

    Aww, that’s so sweet! I feel the same way about my Dad. 🙂

  2. Jesse

    Nice.

    As the Daddy to two little girls, I’m sure your story is a fitting blessing on your father’s life.

    • Hi Jesse, These are memories of my Dad at his best. =) He could be a very hard and cold man at times but the guy I loved was truly a wonderful man. =) One in a million.

  3. This is very sweet, Chickee. I’ve never known the feeling of being cherished by a father. I used to dream of it when I was a little girl. I loved reading this. ♥

    • Hi Kate, I’m so glad you came. =) Dad had his faults but he was a very wonderful man especially when viewed with the eyes of a small freckle faced girl with glasses. ♥

      It was funny when I posted the link on FB. I got a private message about my ex. LoL He had dark curly hair too. hahaha!!!

  4. (oops, I typed my website wrong in all of my comments so far! yikes, I’m losing my mind reading your blogs, see what you’ve done to me?).

    I loved that! Like JustKate, I never had a father either so I completely love hearing or reading other people stories of their dads. Beautifully done, sweetly written Chickee! Beautiful! The perfect man. Hmmmm.

  5. I’m smiling. thanks for that.

    Oh he was far from perfect but that didn’t matter at all. Because when I look back, yes I can see the bad stuff but the good by far outshines all that.

    Imma head over and see your stuff now.

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